New YouTube Channel

Hi everyone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8W3ea5ZcJk

I've set up a YouTube channel where I will read stories to kids while they are confined at home. There must be 30 subscribers in order for them to list it at YouTube.com by it's name:  Mimi's Story Time. Subscribing only means they'll let you know when another video is posted.

If you never watch another video, please subscribe to Mimi's Story Time by clicking on my logo in the lower right corner. Facebook will not permit a YouTube request so I have directed you here.

Thanks so, so much. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8W3ea5ZcJk

Doris
Doris Gaines Rapp

A Premonition or Creativity

Do you believe in premonitions? Several years ago, I wrote Length f Days - The Age of Silence because I believed our speech was being muzzled by political correctness. The next year, came Length of Days - Beyond the Valley of the Keepers. Christiana must escape the Central Zone to get signatures for a National Citizens' Referendum to overturn the Length of Days Law, as her grandparents near the age where they must enter the never-ending-sleep. Are things beginning to sound familiar? Later I wrote the last in the Length of Days trilogy, Search for Freedom. Christiana's grandfather, the presidential candidate from the newly formed 1787-Constitutional Party, is kidnapped during a time when the ruling elite select a president by right of succession, Will Christiana find him in time? Read all three and see how close I came to describing our current time. even though the books take place in 2112-2113.

Reknit Your Interior with Creativity

Are ya dragging? Inspiration down? Let creativity come to the rescue. Make life fun.

I know life is serious and you have a lot of work to do. Your family, career, church, home, and friends all demand your time. With the current craze of counting steps, time can be expressed in energy.

Roughly 2000 steps equal one mile when a stride length is approximately 2.1 to 2.5 feet. Obviously, those with longer legs takes fewer steps. If your friend can walk fast (100 steps a minute) and took 2000 steps, they would get 20 minutes of exercise in that mile. If you walk slow (60 steps a minute) you would get 33 minutes of exercise when you walk 2000 steps, or a mile. Me? With my two back surgeries, it would me four days to take 2000 steps if I tried to walk down the sidewalk for a quarter mile per day. Therefore...comparing your expenditure of energy with someone else isn't helpful. Everyone is different. The example is to show, once the maximum number of steps have been taken, the energy is spent. To recover, you may want to try your own form of creativity.

The rule of thumb is, if you're tired because you have been doing "mental" labor, you need some exercise. If you're tired because you've been doing "physical" labor, you need to rest. Inserting another element, relaxation, in preparation for sleep or recovery is helpful. So...add creativity.

Only you can decide what you find to be creative. My husband's idea of relation in going out to his workshop and creating something the older residents of the retirement community where he's the Chaplin can complete. It takes him back to the hours he spent with his grandfather in the workshop in their backyard . My friend, Margy, likes to read on a wide variety of topics. Some put puzzles together as a means of separating from the cares of the day. Some play computer games. while others create new ones. Men and women both enjoy rock climbing, weight lifting, or a swim at the Y. Sewing, needle art, Bible study, are all creative. While I'm writing, I take a break by opening several "Windows" at the bottom of the screen to put a few more pieces in a Jigidi puzzle, dash off to Facebook, or do a Google inquiry. We all "reknit our interior" in different ways. In order to relax and re-energize your body, save time for your personal form of creativity.

I write novels and to add to the fun, I often create an art object to go with a current book. With Tucker McBride, I made snaps to go with my snap earrings and necklace. I created the snaps by copying a portion of the cover and gluing that to the snap fronts. I wear the jewelry when I do a book signing of Tucker. In my newest novel, Just in Time, I describe a necklace on page 250. About six months ago I collected a cross, gold ring, and a chain, and had a jeweler connect them with a gold bail. What fun is that?!

I can't tell you which needle or screw driver to use to reknit your interior, but here's the result of my efforts to put my thoughts into a creative piece of jewelry.
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 Find out what energizes you. Remember, it's a "doing" activity -  only you can decide what you'll be doing to relax and be creative. Anything from taking a walk to designing a garage that takes you out of the left, logical side of your brain, and into the right, the creative side,  will re-form your steps from dragging to energized, and inspire you to be positive and up-beat. Enjoy the creative moments you prefer.

Doris

Copyright 2020 Doris Gaines Rapp, Ph.D. 

A Landing Guide for Helicopter Parents

Hover, Circle, or Land

Helicopter parents seem to hover everywhere, on the news, in the schools, and around the community playground. Are you a helicopter parent? Most of us would deny the label. If we hover, some say we spoil our children. In many cases, I would agree. In other instances, hovering isn’t a bad thing. Parents might hover, circle, or land the chopper. Let’s talk about when.

When to Hover

Modern terminology defines “hovering” as not moving out of the way, smothering our children, so they aren’t free to solve their own problems. That is true; helicopters certainly have the flying ability to hover. Hovering also means remaining in the air in one place, holding your ground, being very calm, assured of your position, not budging. Sometimes our children are out of their depth and need us to intercede for them. As parents, our children need us to hold our ground.

We adopted Vonn when he was nearly ten years old. His learning problems were obvious, although at the time, we didn’t know the Dyspraxia diagnosis. His handwriting was one symptom. Odd shaped letters scrawled across his page, with no spacing between the words, or between the lines. A fifth-grade assignment required the students put notes on three-by-five cards.

I told the teacher, “He can’t even confine his name to a three-by-five card.” It didn’t matter. All the students would write on and turn in cards. Vonn imploded. I told his teacher, “You asked him to walk up the wall and across the ceiling. He can’t do it; not that he won’t do it.”

We had just moved from Ohio to Indiana so I took him back to Dayton for Educational testing. We needed an unbiased summary of his abilities. The first line of the report was the best. “You misunderstand; you will provide for this child.”

Vonn could not have done it himself. Testing is an issue between the parents and the school system. Like a helicopter, I had to hover over the situation until accomplished. I just had to remain calm and assertive, polite not aggressive, and hold my ground. The school would create a Plan, an Individualized Educational Program (IEP), for him based on the test results.

We need to hover when we can say yes to this statement —

The issue is between the school and me.

When to Circle

Other times, an issue between the teacher and parent, requires the parent’s intercession. When the problem is a result of the child’s behavior and the parent has additional knowledge of the situation, the parent must circle the whirlybird and flying low.

My mother didn’t drive, so she was never at school on my behalf, not even the first day. The one exception: my parents were there at musicals I participated in at the end of the year. Was she involved? You bet ya. She was there during the Landing stage.

A classic example of Circling would involve my nephew, Neil. He had a childhood illness at the same time his fourth grade history project was due. The completed project waited on the dining room table until he returned to school. Handing it in when the spots were gone, however, would make the project late. His mother, Donna, taught in the same school system so she took it into the teacher on her way to work. Mr. Somebody, blitzed while counting lunch money and taking in book orders for the Book Fair, waved his hand in the direction of the tall file cabinet on the back wall. “Thanks. Just put it back there for me, please.” When report cards came out, Neil’s History grade was low with an asterisk coded, “Missing History Project.” Donna went back to talk to the teacher.

Mr. Somebody did not believe anyone handed in Neil’s project. After all, Neil was sick. So Donna circled the chopper and flew back to the file cabinet, didn’t touch anything, but pointed out the homework, now buried under other papers and books. Mr. Somebody grudgingly gave Neil credit but still marked it “late” with a percentage off. Donna could not convince him of the unfairness, so she wrote a rebuttal to the grade and had the paper placed in Neil’s permanent record and in the teacher’s personnel file. Neil could not have done it himself. He wasn’t even in school that day. Only his mother could circle the field and intercede since she was the one who knew what had happened.

We need to circle, when we can say yes to this statement —

The issue is between the teacher and me.

When to Land

We become the obnoxious, negative helicopter parent when we intercede in a situation that does not involve us. When I taught school in New Mexico after graduating from NMSU, all of the students knew if they got into hot water at school, they would be in equal trouble at home. (1) Education was important. (2) Parents expected their children to grow up, accept their own punishment, and solve their own problems.

My husband, Bill, reared by his grandparents, rarely had adult intervention at school. Gramma assumed he would do his homework and if he didn’t, the consequences were his, not hers. Gramma did help when asked. When Bill’s Math teacher lowered his grade because he used an incorrect problem solving process, Gramma simply said, “They do it different now. Pay attention.”

Children today have entitlement issues. They believe they are entitled to receive special treatment; they deserve privileges. Add to that, a bipolar disorder permeating our school children. On the up side, parents want their sons and daughters to get good grades and hand in all their homework. On the down side, the parents may do their homework for them, which the student interprets as, “I’m not capable.” Parents need to coach their children to become good students by helping them to learn-to-learn. Parents aren’t to intervene at school to protect their child from work. They are to intervene at home to help their children learn to be responsible.

A parent may say, “Susie is twelve years old. She should know how to manage her time and get her homework done.” Susie may be twelve, but she doesn’t yet know how to study. So, do you say, “Oh well, too bad, so sad.”  Or, do you train her?

There will be many instances in which our children grow unevenly. They may be twenty-five before they learn how to tell time on an analog clock. Fractions may finally soak in for Jason, the famous artist, when he starts using decimals and fractions in the creation of the exquisite frames he makes for the paintings. Mike teases people to the point friends begin to think he is a buffoon. When he decides to run for city council, he makes a decision to change his behavior with others. “He is old enough he should know how to talk to people.” That’s right…he should, but he doesn’t. My motto is:  

“What you do not naturally do, you must deliberately do.”

A child isn’t old enough to recognize the need to change their behavior, so the parents must train them.

A popular, fun loving boy was failing in middle school. He said he couldn’t get to his locker in time and was late for each class. That caused both discipline and academic problems. His mom reminded him he was physically strong, so he should carry all pre-lunch textbooks and papers with him. Then, switch them out at lunch for the afternoon load. He also said he couldn’t get his homework done because he didn’t have the discipline to build habits required for study. “Okay,” someone suggested, “each evening during your favorite TV program or electronic game, when it gets really exciting, stop what you’re doing, go into your room and move a shoe from one side of your bedroom to the other. When he asked, “Why?” The answer was, “No reason, just prove you can do it.”

After a few weeks of shoe-moving every night, he felt that he could conquer the world. He stuck to the promised he made. During the next grading period, he was on the honors list.

We need to land the helicopter when we can say yes to the statement —

The issue is between my child and me.

There are times to hover, times to cover, and times to land at home. The choice is yours. The winner, based, on the choices you as a parent make, is your child.

Doris Gaines Rapp, Ph.D.

Copyright 2020 Doris Gaines Rapp

www.dorisgainesrapp.com

www.tuckermcbrideintheclassroom.com

https://prayertherapyofjesus.blogspot.com

@DorisRapp

Teach a Child Involvement

I know you're busy. We're all in the same fast lane of life. Personally, I have two speeds, slow and hysterical. 

For our children, whether first generation kids or second, our grandchildren, they all need routine and involvement. Since a child can't drive, that means you need to play chauffeur.

When Jim was little, a trip to the try cleaners turned into a field trip. The owner was happy to show him how the press worked. For our youngest two, Leenie and Mandi, a stop in front of an elevator on the way home from pre-school as farmers dropped off their grain taught them how others work.

For our granddaughter, Shyloe, a special poster she made about re-cycling, led to meeting the mayor and an invitation to speak at City Council ... all because Mommy, Amanda, took the time to drive her to the appointments of a seven-year-old.

Teach them to be involved in their community by being involved in their lives.

Shyloe and the Mayor Show How to Succeed

My new children's picture book, Shyloe and the Mayor, is now available on amazon.com. This charming little book shows how to encourage children in leadership and "doing."

Many of our children, much older than Shyloe, have already lost their nerve to step up and be part of the solution. In my book, Shyloe is passionate about littering. So, she does something about it.

The secret to her success is the support from her mother. Momma doesn't say, "Wait until you're older." She doesn't discourage her by adding, "Shyloe, you are only seven years old." She helps Shyloe accomplish her dream of making a difference by letting her do what she can do, within the ability of her age. 

You can help your child, your grandchild, or the kids next door by listening to them, encouraging them, and by validating their plans. Children are thrilled when you get down on their level and validate their experience … when you really “see” them.

One of the men in one of the churches we served greeted our daughter every Sunday with, “Good morning ornery.” 

Aunt Ollie said, “Vicki always has that look … what can I get into now?” They certainly let her know they saw her and she was of value in their world.

My aunts and uncles were all encouragers.  If I told Aunt Ollie I was going to build a rocket so I could go up and walk on the moon, she wouldn't have dismissed my idea as foolish. And, she wouldn't have laughed or mocked me, crushing my dream and making me leery of steeping forward in the future. She would have smiled and said, "Well, take along a camera. I want to see the pictures when you get back."

Are we lifting up our children so they can be doers? Or, are we discouraging them by shooing them away while we work or even play games? We hold the keys to their success. Help them be doers not don'ters.

A New Beginning

We live in strange times, my friend. People no longer create new ideas. They steal the work and creativity of others. Because they can hack, doesn't make them original. It makes them nothing more than hackers.
As time goes along I will post new thoughts. Log on and catch up. Let me know you're still there.
Thank you for your patience.